Bye

This blog has been indefinitely closed due to lack of stuff to write about and to Facebook, which is way more interactive. You're all there anyway.

We will be back when we move, make more big home projects, or adopt another child.

Bye!

Here We Go

First day of school. I email parents asking them to please allow their students to have an email so they can edit each other's papers on Google Docs, or to let them use their emails if they don't want their kids to open one, and I get the response from the one parent who always has to make some smart-a%# remark:

We will have her use my account, since kids are not allowed emails (by law) until they are 12.  I thought you may want to know.


Not the first kid I have from her. Actually, this is the third one. And although the kids are awesome, having to deal with her gives me a toothache each time I see her kids. Such a shame.

Gabe Playing the Harmonica

He's dancing too, mostly tapping his foot, but for the first time playing it, it's pretty good, huh?

Jul. 2011, Gabe Update - Gabe, al día

*En castellano abajo de las fotos*

Gabe's been walking for about six months, babbling and saying a few words for a little while, most in English, some in Spanish. His most recurrent words and things like that:

- Ball
- Shoes
- Agua
- Auto
- Wow
- All done
- Baba, and when I'm lucky, leche (both stand for milk. One's a made up word, one's Spanish)
- No
- Banana
- Daddy
- Doggy
- Grrrrrhhhaaaww (that's his pig noise he learned from Peppa Pig)
And ocassionally, apple, mommy, up, at (that means TV).

He can high five and give me a terrorist bump, or like liberals like to call it, a fist bump. We're trying to get him out of his binky, but as soon as he sees it, he pops it in his mouth. He likes to watch Signing Time, Yo Gabba Gabba, and when there's nothing left, Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig is OUR favorite, though, so while we laugh our heads off watching that, he is running around destroying the house.

He's usually the smallest kid in the playground, so other kids either push him around, to which he reacts getting all tense and yelling at them, or they look at him weird, as if he had leprecy or something worse when he comes and stands in front of them. He is way social, and he likes to get in the faces of other kids. He things that's a way of saying "Hey, I'm Gabe, and I would very much like to play with you for a little while. I hope you don't mind." If the other kids have food, they move it away like an angry dog protecting his lunch. If not, they just walk away. I think Gabe hasn't made the connection yet and realized that he needs a new strategy.

He loves water, and he went swimming twice this week. The first time it started thundering two minutes after we got in the water, so he was disconsolate when we pulled him out. The second time he stayed for longer, but it was a little colder, so he was happy when, forty minutes later, he was finally wrapped in his towel.

Gabe REALLY likes bread

For what I understand, Gabe's part Irish, so he can wear this all year long!

Gabriel ha estado caminando por unos seis meses, hablando en su propio idioma y diciendo algunas palabras en castellano e inglés. Sus palabras más comunes:

- Ball
- Shoes
- Agua
- Auto
- Wow
- All done
- Baba, y cuando tengo suerte, leche
- No
- Banana
- Daddy
- Doggy
- Grrrrrhhhaaaww (ese es el ruido que hacen los chanchos según con Gabe)
y a veces apple, mami, up, at (eso significa "tele").

Puede darme cinco, pero solamente levanta la mano y espera que uno se la choque. Estamos tratando de sacarle el chupete, pero en cuanto lo ve, lo agarra y se lo pone en la boca. Si encuentra dos chupetes, se pone uno en la boca, y al ratito se lo saca para ponerse el otro. Le gusta mirar Signing Time, un programa que le enseña a hablar por señas, pero hasta ahora no aprendió ninguna. Le gusta Yo Gabba Gabba, un programa que parece haber sido escrito por un grupo de adolescentes fumando marihuana, y Peppa Pig, un dibujito de una chanchita y su familia. Peppa Pig es el favorito mío y de Megan, pero no de Gabe, asi que cuando miramos eso, Megan y yo nos matamos de risa, el está por ahí destruyendo la casa.

Gabe is generalmente el más chiquito en el parque, asi que los otros chicos o lo empujan, a lo cual reacciona poniendose tenso y gritandoles, o lo miran raro, somo si tuviera lepra o algo peor cuando Gabe se les para al frente y los mira con su sonrisita. Es muy social, y se les acerca demasiado a los otros chicos, en su "espacio personal", o su "burbuja" como les dicen aca. Esa es su manera de decir, "buenas tardes. Yo me llamo Gabriel, y me gustaría mucho jugar con vos por un ratito, si no es mucha molestia". Si los chicos tienen comida, la esconden como un perro enojado al que le tratan de quitar el almuerzo, y si no tienen nada, simplemente se las toman. Me parece que Gabriel todavía no se dio cuenta que necesita una estrategia nueva.


   
Signing Time - Yo Gabba Gabba - Peppa Pig

Why I'm a Girl on Etsy

After I bought my first e-reader for Christmas (a now already old generation Barnes and Noble Nook), I was broke, but I still wanted a cover for it. I thought it would be pretty cool to hollow out a book and use it as a cover, so I looked online how to do that, and after a few months, I think I'm close to being decent. My first hollow book was ok. The Nook fitted well and it looked nice, especially because I gutted the newest Garrison Keillor book. Sad. I'm never doing that again.

I then found some cheap hard covers at Hastings ($1.00. Not bad) so I got a bunch and made some hollow books out of that. I then found brand new books at Barnes and Noble for $2.00, so I got some of those as well. I now use whatever looks nice and it's big enough. I had seen some leather journals at Ross and TJ Maxx that I thought would make nice Nook covers, but since I was looking for a journal for myself, it took me forever to find something I could carry around without feeling self-conscious, or without having to justify my sexual orientation. I finally found a really nice brown leather journal with a flap with snap-on buttons, which I got at once and proceed to destroy.

I kind of messed it up with that coin

As I kept going back to the store to find more of those awesome looking journals, I kept finding pink, flowery, cutesy journals that I wouldn't find myself dead carrying, but I figured that other people would like to, more specifically women, you know. So, once I had more hollowed out journals that I knew what to do with, I finally opened my Etsy store. Since my hollow books ended up being quite cutesy, I decided to make an equally cutesy banner, so I decided to conceal my name from it, and the fact that I'm a guy! Hey, it's all about the money. And the fact that it's a lot of fun to make these hollow books. So yeah, I'm a girl on Etsy.

See what I mean?

By the way, the store's address: http://www.etsy.com/shop/hollowbooks. Check it out. They're cheap!

Most of my hollowed books are journals, but I will do an actual book now and then. I thought it would be fun to look for interesting words as I carved, and then I put them together in a kind of MadLibs sort of way. This is what I came up with after butchering A Summer of Butterflies:

Remordimiento literario - Literary Guilt

__ ¡En Español! ________________________

Mientras más aprendo de literatura, siento que tengo que leer más y más libros. ¿El problema? Que soy un lector muy vago, y lento, y lo que es peor, acabo de comprar un libro llamado "1001 libros que debe leer antes de morir". Un bajón. Y eso que el libro ese no incluye a Shakespeare, y a la mayoría de los escritores en español que vale la pena leer, así que la lista es en realidad el doble de larga. Si consideramos que lea un libro cada dos semanas, calculo que voy a terminar de leer esos 2000 libros cuando tenga 116 años. Algunos libros van a llevarme más tiempo, así que redondeemos a 120 para estar seguros.

Ojalá pudiera convencerme de que en realidad no es necesario, que puedo ver la películal, o algo así, y que eso sería suficiente, pero después de ver todas las versiones de El Principe y el Mendigo o Wuthering Height, me alegra de que leí los libros primero, así que eso no ayuda. Hay otras peliculas como Harry Potter, o el DaVinci Code, o los libros de Stieg Larsson que si uno las ve, no le hace falta leer el libro, porque no se perdería nada, pero esos libros no están en mi lista de libros para leer, asi que eso tampoco ayuda.

Un libro que he estado de leer por años es el Ulises, de Joyce. Lo empecé tres veces. La primera vez intenté leerlo sin ninguna ayuda, pero terminé aburrido, confundido, y curioso, porque no tenía idea de lo que había acabado de leer. Después imprimí el resumen de los capítulos de Wikipedia y traté de usarlos como un "bastón" para ayudarme, pero no sirvió mucho, ya que me perdí como el 80% de las referencias en el libro. Finalmente usé las SparksNotes (libros que tienen resumenes y análisis de los capitulos generalmente usados por estudiantes vagos que no quieren leer el libro). Como es un libro finito, lo pegué atrás de una de las versiones de Ulises que tengo, y leí los resumenes y análisis antes de cada capítulo, y a pesar de que entendí la historia (más o menos), todavía no entendí las referencias. La primera página del capítulo 3 me llevó como una hora y me parece que es una historia de la creación del mundo, aunque ni Wikipedia ni SparksNotes mencionan nada de eso. Hay un podcast dedicado al libro, pero después de un año de podcast semanales, el autor cubrió solamente el primer capítulo del libro, y no quiero esperar los 18 años que el proyecto parece que va a llevar. ¿Y por qué trato tanto de terminar el libro? Porque está entre los mejores libros en todas las listas que he visto, y TENGO que saber de que se trata, o por qué es tan importante. A veces desearía que pudiera ser como mi maestra de griego en la facultad, a la que le pregunté durante un final, "¿Leyó el Ulises de Joyce?" "No", me respondió. "No tengo tiempo". Que lindo ser así.

Es cierto que hay algunos clasicos que son tan grandes que podrían parar la puerta de una catedral, y sin embargo lo más importante en esos libros es la historia y no el lenguage. Me imagino que los libros de Homero en el original griego deben de haber sido increíbles en la belleza del idioma y la poesía debe de haber sido conmovedores, pero cuando leo las versiones en inglés o español, todo eso parece haberse perdido, y todo lo que nos queda es la historia. Por supuesto que finalmente lo acepté despues de haber leído las primeras 180 páginas de las 330 de mi edición de la Ilíada. A diferencia del Ulises, que es dificilísimo de entender, la Ilíada es simplemente difícil de leer porque tiene tantos detalles que hacen que el libro sea lento y aburrido. Uno aprende los nombres de todos los soldados que todos los otros soldados matan, sus países de origen, el nombre del padre de cada soldado, y la manera en que murieron. Después de haber leído casi la mitad del libro, decidí que si leo un buen resumen de cada capítulo va a ser suficiente. Por supuesto que hay capítulos que uno tiene que leer, como la pelea entre Aquiles y Hector, o cuando Priam va a buscar el cuerpo de su hijo y tiene que negociar con Aquiles, pero los capítulos de las batallas se pueden facilmente saltear y uno no se pierde mucho.

Me imagino que esa culpa que siento por no leer más viene de algun tipo de problema mental que adquirí como consecuencia de leer demasiadas traducciones mediocres de buenos libros, o por comer tanto chinchulín de chico. Quién sabe. Lo que sí sé es que si puedo encontrar una justificación para NO LEER esos 2000 libros antes de morir, voy a tener una vida mucho más agradable. Como diría Kanye West, "Yo no leo libros. Yo hablo con la gente y escucho sus historias directamente". Perdón, ¿dije Kanye West? Ignoren eso, por favor. Después de todo, todavía me gustaría comunicarme con frases y oraciones enteras y no haciendo ruidos como cavernicola, así que creo que voy a seguir leyendo. Además, no puedo empezar a imaginarme dónde va el coso ese si quiere aprender algo de historia antigua, ya que todos sus protagonistas ya estiraron la pata. Pero realmente necesito encontrar una manera de deshacerme del constante remordimiento cada vez que veo mis "bibliotecas." Y desafortunadamente Kanye West y su logica infalible todavía no me han ayudado.

__ English, please! ____________________

The more I learn about literature, the more books I feel I NEED to read. The problem? I'm a lazy reader. And I'm slow. And to make things worse, I just bought a book called "1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die." Now that's encouraging. And that book doesn't even include Shakespeare, or any of the most amazing Spanish writers, so the list is probably twice as long as that. Considering that I may read one book every two weeks, that means I'll read those 2000 books (there will be a bunch of new books I want to read. "The Psychopath Test," for example, is in my personal list and it just came out) by the time I'm 116. Of course some books take longer, and at times my Nook may run out of battery, so let's round at 120, just to be sure.


I really wish I could convince myself that that's really not necessary, that I can just watch the movie, or something, and that's be enough. But then, after watching all the versions of "Wuthering Heights," I'm really glad I also read the book, so that doesn't help. Of course you can just watch the Harry Potter movies, or the "girl" movies ("The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo" and so on), or any Dan Brown or John Girshman movie and you won't miss anything, but those books don't even make the list of books I want to read, so that doesn't help either.


I really tried to read Joyce's "Ulysses." I started it about three times. The first time I tried to just read it back to back without further ado, but that just let me bored, confused, and curious, since I had to idea what I had just read. Next, I printed out the chapter summaries from Wikipedia and went at it with that help, but that didn't make much of a difference, since I still missed about 80% of all the references in the book. Finally, I tried the Sparks Notes (I actually bought them and glued them to one of my copies of the book), and it helped me understand what the plot was, but I still didn't get any of the references. I now found a 24 hour lecture on the book which will hopefully help me get through it and actually say that I got it. There's also a podcast dedicated to the book, but after a year of weekly posts, the author only covered the first chapter, and I really don't want to wait 18 years before the project is finished. And why do I go through all that trouble? Because Ulysses is at the top of every serious book list in the world, so of course I have to read it. I so wish I could be like my college Greek professor, to whom I asked during an oral final test once, "Did you read Joyce's Ulysses?" "No," she responded. "I don't have the time." Lucky.


But then, there are some classics that are so big they could stop a cathedral's door and yet are mostly about the plot. I know, I know, if you read Homer's books in the original Greek they're probably beautiful, and the poetry is probably moving, but I haven't read any translation that moves me with its very words to the level that other books in their original language have done. To me, the Iliad and the Odyssey are mostly about plot. Of course I found that out after I read the first 180 pages of the total 330 in my edition. What I did was to read the plot summary on sparksnotes.com and then read the chapter, to make sure I understood what was going on. Unlike Ulysses, which is terrible hard to understand, the Iliad is quite simple, but what makes it hard to read is the painful description of each soldier's family background. Half what I've read so far is an account of who killed whom, literally, with the names of the soldiers, the name of the country they came from, and the name of their fathers. I have decided, at this point, that after reading a few kids' versions, I can just read the Sparks Notes and I will know exactly what the book is about. So, instead of taking a month to read that, I can take 30 minutes. It took me about three weeks to figure it out (I told you I was slow), but I'm most definitely not spending another three weeks finishing it, and however long the Odyssey was going to take me. Of course there are chapters that I need to read, like the battle between Hector and Achilles (they did a beautiful reading of that chapter on Selected Shorts, which makes me think of what those old retelling of the book might have been like in the ancient Greece), and the chapter where Priam goes to get his son's body from Achilles. Other than that, you can skip all the battle scenes and read a summary instead and you'll be fine.


So there you go. I imagine that my self-inflicted book related guilt trips may be related to some kind of mental issue I've acquired while reading too many crappy translations of good books, or by eating too much cow intestines as a kid, who knows. All I know is that if I can find ways to justify NOT READING those 2000 books by the time I die, I will have a lot more time to enjoy life. Or like Kanye West would say "I don't read books. I rather talk to real people and hear their stories." Did I say Kanye West? Nevermind, I would still like to be able to communicate with actual words instead of mumbling, so I'll definitely keep reading. Besides, I can't begin to imagine who he would need to talk to if he wanted to learn something about ancient history, since, you know, they're all dead and stuff. But I really need to work on a way to get rid of the guilt! Unfortunately, Kanye's flawless logic ain't done it yet.

Some Old Books I Finished This Week

The Warrior Woman, by Maxine Hong Kingston

Kingston's Tripmaster Monkey is one of my favorite books ever. The Warrior Woman is pretty amazing as well. A classic, for what I hear :) - I love how Kingston mixes up family stories with traditional Chinese legends and mythology. After all, don't we all do that, regardless what culture we belong to? If you're a story teller and like to include cultural elements in your narrative, it's pretty convenient to belong to a culture as rich and exotic as that of China. Otherwise, make stuff up, like Kingston admits to doing at times. After all, like she complains to her mom in the last chapter of the book, "I don't know what's real and what are just stories!" But then, who cares, right?

A Study in Scarlet, by Sir Arthur Connan Doyle

After getting over myself and deciding that Sherlock Holmes is real literature (after reading dozens of young adults and children books, my standards have lower considerably), I started reading the Holmes cannon, starting with the first story, which is one of the four novels in the Holmes series. The rest forty or fifty something are short stories.

My first surprise was to find out how similar Doyle's and Robert Downey Jr.'s Holmes are. It's true that Sherlock Holmes never fought giant French guys or was an action hero, but he was a boxer, and somewhat of an irreverent slacker. Watson was lazy too, according to his own words.

My second surprise: this book trashes Mormons like no other. It actually reminded me of a silent movie I saw a while ago in which Mormon missionaries went to other states and countries with the purpose of kidnapping women to turn them into sister wives. Doyle goes after the Danite Band, a sort of army that protected Mormon settlements against random attacks, and which, according to Mormon history, didn't even exist anymore once they moved to Salt Lake, which is where Doyle locates them. Second, he goes after Brigham Young pretty viciously, making him a grumpy, cunning dictator who forces people into joining the church and marrying as many wives as possible. One of my favorite passages of the book:

"Brother Ferrier," he said, taking a seat, and eyeing the farmer keenly from under his light-coloured eyelashes, "the true believers have been good friends to you. We picked you up when you were starving in the desert, we shared our food with you, led you safe to the Chosen Valley, gave you a goodly share of land, and allowed you to wax rich under our protection. Is not this so?"

"It is so," answered John Ferrier.

"In return for all this we asked but one condition: that was, that you should embrace the true faith, and conform in every way to its usages. This you promised to do, and this, if common report says truly, you have neglected."

"And how have I neglected it?" asked Ferrier, throwing out his hands in expostulation. "Have I not given to the common fund? Have I not attended at the Temple? Have I not——?"

"Where are your wives?" asked Young, looking round him. "Call them in, that I may greet them."

The book is one of those historical fiction/detective (obviously) stories with a conspiracy twist. An early DaVinci Code of sorts, with as little investment on research and everyhing.

My Ghettified Google Voice Phone Mic and Speaker

Last week I couldn't find my phone, and I was hoping it was at home. I tried to call Meg to see if it was there, but since I didn't have my phone, I tried using my Google Voice, but I didn't have a microphone, so I still couldn't. I then saw my fake antique phone on top of my classroom cabinets and thought "How cool would it be to have an old phone receiver as my Google Voice mic/speaker, all in one?"

If you don't know Google Voice, well, it's pretty awesome. You can make free calls and text messages from your computer, and even get an unique phone number for free. I set it up to get messages from my students. They will never know my number again. Last time I made that mistake I ended up having to call the cops.

First step: I went to eBay and found a little computer mic with a female plug at the end, where you can hook up headphones. That way, I could gut an old phone and put a mic at one end and the mic at the other.

Step two: Go to Savers and find a crappy old phone. Wash (very important after shopping at Savers) and empty it out and unscrew the lid thingies (the old phones with round lid thingies are easy to open. No idea about the newer phones with square ones).

Step three: Tape both headphones to the speaker side of the phone receiver. I used good mics to make sure I'll be able to hear! Screw back on.

Step four: Plug the headphone to the mic. Tape the mic to the inside edge of the other end of the receiver. I would have taped it to the lid, but the mic was too wide for that, and it wouldn't have closed.

Important! Stuff the inside of the phone receiver with cotton, or you will be speaking in your own ear, which is pretty annoying.

Screw lid thingy back, plug phone.

Cost:

Mic: $1.89 (including shipping)
Crappy old phone: $2.99

Total: $4.88 (not including headphones)

If you want good sound, you should get a nicer mic and maybe use a little speaker instead of headphones for the ear piece. My cheap receiver doesn't sound great, but it looks pretty cool.

The Boy's Walking

Books I Read...

I've been posting books there in the side of the page as a way to see how many books I read in a given year. I was surprised to see how many had accumulated at the end of the year, and that helped me get motivated to read even more. The reviews I write are not about the book (you can read that on Amazon, or barnesandnoble.com), but my reaction to it. A basic, couple of lines, response. It's extremely subjective (especially if you've read some of my politics books' reviews, you know what I mean), but oh well, it's my blog! And nobody reads it anyway, so what's the big deal, right? But I've decided that if it's not a 25 page book for first grade readers, I might include the reviews in the body of the blog, otherwise I'll update this once a year, and that's pretty pathetic.

So, here's my response to the last book I've read.




Kira Kira, by Cynthia Kadohata. YA (272 pp.).

A couple of years ago, a student kept telling me that we should read this book as a class. So I was glad to have found it at overdrive.com. It's a cute book, and the historic part of it doesn't seem forced, as in Esperanza Rising, but the sister part of the narrative, well, I saw that coming from the first chapter, so it felt that the author dragged it too much. The rest of the book is a built up to that, so it didn't work for me, but I see how it might have worked for a kid.

Best Fail Blog Post Ever

I lost 22 pounds!

I'm following Tim Feriss' Four Hour Body diet (very similar to the Atkin's diet, for what I hear) and lost 21 pounds in 7 weeks! I would have lost more and faster, but there's this thing in the diet where you can eat anything you want one time a week, and that sets me back three days, usually, but by Saturday morning, I'm in average 2 pounds lighter than the Saturday before.

It was way hard the first few days, and for the first couple of weeks I craved sugar really, really bad, but I learned to cope with it by having gum (Extra came up with a line of "Dessert Delights" sugar free gum that is awesome!), a sip of Diet Coke or Coke Zero (I like the latter better), and some cafeine free green tea or mate with a little Splenda. After a while the craving is really not that bad anymore. Besides, the fact that I can eat all the meat and eggs I want sold me into it. I find that after my "cheat day," I look forward to going back to my diet!

I would probably also lose weight faster and more effectively if I did the exercises that the book recommends, but it's so cold outside that I don't want to go to the garage to do them, so I might make more progress in the summer. I thought 20 pounds would be the final goal, but I see now that I'm probably just half way through!

My weight loss chart from caloriecount.about.com:

By the way, in this diet, you don't need to count calories. Basically, eat all the meat, beans, eggs, and vegetables you want. Stay away from carbs (bread, tortillas, pasta) and sugar (including fruits and fruit juice) except on your one cheat day. That's it. I paid $10 to find that out. Oh well, it was cheaper than the shovel of money I thew in my gym for a 20th of the result.

1st Birthday Party

Thanks, everyone! It was an awesome party!

Gabe's Almost Walking!

Last 10 seconds of the video. That's when he gives his first three steps.

Constants vs. Ups and downs:

My Math teacher gave me a writing prompt. How dare she, right? Anyway, I was annoyed at the beginning, but when I started writing, I actually had fun and went way beyond the one paragraph that she asked for. Albeit nerdy sounding, I kind of liked what I came up with:

Recently I’ve tried to refinance my house, because interests went down. Unfortunately, along with interests, the value of the home went down as well. It was just four years ago that home prices were soaring. Buying 10 years ago and selling five or six years later would have given us a large profit just by sitting on the house. Also, I recently learned that my employer is not paying for my retirement anymore.

Engrish!!

I swear I'm not making fun of these guys. After all, I wrote like this or even worse when I moved here. It's just that, as an English teacher, I find it so fascinating!

Answer to an email asking about the stats of an item I bought on eBay:

As a rule, it will take 3-5 days to arrive.
Pls wait for more time with patient.
Pls feel free to contact us if there is anything we can assist.

Happy a nice day
Sibyl

The "Sibyl" just kills me.

Math Websites

I'm taking some Math classes for my future Math endorsement. That's right, 3 subjects is not good enough for me. My goal is to teach them all!! Anyway, this is a list of helpful websites I found and that I'd like to list somewhere so I have easy access to them. So, this is not for you, it's for me!

Cool graphic calculator thingy

Equation calculator

Crapload of Math utilities from USU. The grapher is pretty cool.